


as we go

by loofahpayne



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Grieving, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Slow Burn, Vampires, pinning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:17:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6596365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loofahpayne/pseuds/loofahpayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Simon is learning to accept the fact that Clary isn't going to love him(like that), he's dead, and that Raphael is an annoying vamp he's going to have to tolerate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Simon's life consisted of biting back. Holding his tongue. Digesting his words and letting them simmer in his stomach. 

Becoming a vampire felt like it was the end of that. The end of the old Simon. Creature-of-the-fucking-night Simon was gonna be different.

But it wasn't. Simon was finding the hotel dumort to be an exact replica of the mundane world. 

It was all hierarchy and fucking vampire etiquette. Formal. 

He wasn't fitting in with the other vamps. Of-fucking-course, couldn't mesh with the cool mundanes, how was he going to get with the vamps. 

But they respected him. They respected ambassador, Simon Lewis. Simon almost didn't feel too bad that his title was given to him out of compensation by Raphael. 

Simon was studying them. How the higher up's and lower's interact. The lower's bared their throat as signs of respect. The lower's always gave a portion of their game to the higher up's. 

Simon wouldn't have had too much to worry about if the only guy ranked above him was Raphael. The sworn-catholic vamp, constantly looming over his shoulder. 

~

"You'd think vamps would be fucking rampant across new york with how you are so, highly, spoken of," Simon spoke, walking from hall to hall in the hotel dumort, touching things he probably shouldn't. 

Simon was bored. He began to examine the modern decor of the hotel. The hunt left the place mostly empty at night time, made it eerie and reminded simon that he didn't have to worry about strange creatures in the shadows, that was him now.

Then the air began to tense, Simon could hear Raphael inching closer.

"Us. Talk about us. But you should get used to the casual reminder of your place on the food chain. The Angels of Raziel are on the top," Raphael sped to Simon's side, his body cold and pushed against Simon's and whispered into his ear, "the vamps on the bottom." 

Simon tensed and pushed out of Raphael's...everything. He examined the vamp, all bravado and arrogance. 

"You gotta stop doing...that," Simon didn't look up. He could still feel Raphael's breath on his ear, sinking into him. 

Raphael just gave simon his usual chuckle-smirk. He gave him the higher-up stare. The-bare-your-throat-to-the-only-vamp-above-you stare. 

Simon looked at Raphael's crossed arms, suprisingly impressive for a dead guy. He sneered.

The hallway was closing in. Simon's neck itched. His cold body would have flushed with warmth by now, if he were still alive.

"You know, I give you a lot more leeway than I do my other clan members," Raphael's smirk shifted to a look of indifference, "'cause you're a fledgling and all,"

"But you're gonna have to get use to the way things work around here. Bare your throat, Simon," Raphael challenged. Simon felt his chest swell, his hands to fists, and his face scrunched. 

Simon paused and thought about his whole world. It wasn't amateur indie bands, college worries, and crushes on a girl who will never like him back(well, the latter is still true). 

He is a downworlder. He likes blood. He almost killed his mom. He resides at the Hotel Dumort. 

He lifted his chin and stuck out his neck with every muscle in his body showing his detest. He left his throat barred, until he felt like the time had passed long enough, then Raphael was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

"Simon," Clary formed in front of Simon. Her eyes prodding and as always, keeping him captive.

"Yeah?" He offered. Clary looked at him in confusion. 

Simon thought she could be any more fucking perfect. The dim lighting in the cafe made her look so vibrant. Alive. 

"You ok?" Clary took Simon's hand in hers and he felt her warmth. Her pulse and how much she was here and he wasn't. 

"Yeah, I'm just settling in..." He offered. He looked down at their clasped hands, trying to focus on anything but the sound of her pulse.

"You've been settling in for a while now, Simon-"

"There isn't exactly a wiki how-to on accepting the fact that you're dead, but not." 

Clary's hands tensed, not in fear. She always made sure to let Simon know that. _I'm not afraid of you Simon. You're not a monster._

"You're right, I didn't meant it like that..." Her voice brimmed with guilt. But the guilt was tinged with sympathy and Simon didn't need it.

"Forget it, Clary, can we talk about something else?" Simon's mood dimmed with the lights. 

The clatter of the cafe closing, people were scattered around, eyes heavy with sleep. Simon didn't need to sleep. At least when he was a mundane he didn't have to hear his own rambles 24/7. 

"Valentine has begun changing more humans, well, those that survive it," Clary's eyes bore into the table, tensed.

"Something other than shadowhunter business?" Simon pleaded.

"What else is there, Simon?" Clary shot at him. She had let go of his hand and crossed her arms. 

"This is our world now, either save it or leave it to Valentine," Clary spat. She was angry, Simon was too, not at her. At everything else. 

They sat at their table until they felt the worker's eyes beckoning them to leave. They walked side by side out into the night. 

Before Simon could say goodbye to Clary, he felt a familiar coldness against him. Clary didn't gasp like Simon did. She didn't gape like he did. 

"Is there some vampire curfew I am unaware of?" Simon glared at Raphael. Raphael was glaring at Clary. 

"Hello, Raphael," Clary greeted the vamp. 

"Just because we decided not to declare war on your institute for setting Camille free, does not mean we're on a friendly greeting basis," Raphael continued to seethe at Clary, until Simon spoke. 

"Ok, Raphael, I took part in letting her go, too. Don't take it all out on Clary," Simon defended her. 

Raphael's glare pointed at Simon, then Clary, until he dropped his head and huffed. 

"Whatever, fledgling, time to go," Raphael stepped back, allowing them privacy. 

Clary walked towards Simon and kissed him on the cheek. Simon pretended she had inched closer to his lips. 

"Raphael is...a bit of an ass, sorry Clare," Simon apologized. Clary giggled. 

"I can hear you, fledgling." Clary laughed louder and looked at Simon and he looked at her for a while. 

"Bye, Simon." 

"Bye, Clary."


End file.
